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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”

⏲ 4:49 👁 34.9M

It's a Southern Thing

How to Tell if a Southern Woman is Mad at You

⏲ 2 minutes 47 seconds 👁 1.7M

Craftee

Minecraft but There's Only One Elemental Block

⏲ 21 minutes 30 seconds 👁 2M

Jacob, at The End, Hirst's Yard, Leeds, is one of the 'Butlers in the Buff' serving bottomless brunch afternoon tea and cocktails wearing only a bar apron!<br/><br/>

'Butlers in the Buff' serving bottomless brunch afternoon tea and cocktails

⏲ 0:52 👁 10.2M

VanHalenLive

Van Halen - mine all mine (live 1989)

⏲ 4 minutes 47 seconds 👁 222.4K

Gresham College

Why Is There Only One Species of Human? - Robin May

⏲ 59 minutes 22 seconds 👁 439.9K

There was some Bank Holiday blues for this ‘beach-goer’ in Tenby, as they seemingly got their vehicle stuck in the sand on South Beach!<br/>Motorists are not permitted to drive onto any of the seaside town’s beaches freely, but that didn’t deter this driver today (Saturday) on the start to what wil be a busy May Bank Holiday weekend.<br/>A photo shared on Facebook by David Thomas simply captioned ‘oops’ drew 100s of comments from members of the ‘Tenby’ group.<br/>It’s not the first such mishap, which mimics an incident back in 2015 when a pair of American tourists got their vehicle stuck in the sands on Castle Beach after they had set their Sat Nav to visit the monastic island of Caldey off Tenby!<br/>The mishap was documented by best-selling American author and travel writer Bill Bryson in a chapter about Tenby featured in his ‘The Road to Little Dribbling’ book.<br/>Last year, a vehicle also got stuck on the public footpath by Tenby lifeboat station for almost a week, with the vehicle said to have been driven onto the footpath which clearly states ‘no entry’ to vehicles, by holidaymakers from the USA who were trying to find their way to the Prince Albert statue on Castle Hill and ended up abandoning their vehicle!<br/><br/>©Vid: Natalya Hinde/Facebook<br/>©Pic: David Thomas/Facebook

‘oops!’ - Bank Holiday blues for ‘beachgoing’ driver in Tenby stuck in sand

⏲ 0:29 👁 5.8M

Caedmon's Call - Topic

There's Only One (Holy One)

⏲ 3 minutes 43 seconds 👁 16.2K

Epidemic Electronic

Hallman - There's Only One

⏲ 2 minutes 56 seconds 👁 12.3K

Benjamin (Ben) Evans takes the Merry Hill Seat for Labour. This was a Conservative seat and was the one and only gain in the Wolverhampton elections today.

Labours Ben Evans takes Merry Hill (WTON) from Conservatives.

⏲ 2:1 👁 13.3M

Mick Konstantin Music

Mick Konstantin - There's Only One Conor McGregor

⏲ 3 minutes 5 seconds 👁 1.9M

Winston Surfshirt

Winston Surfshirt - There's Only One Feat. Genesis Owusu (Official Visualiser)

⏲ 3 minutes 10 seconds 👁 14.5K

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