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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_wake-up-sid-full-audio-songs-jukebox-124-ranbir-kapoor-124-konkona-sen.webp "Sony Music India")
_wake-up-sid-club-mix-full-title-track124ranbir-kapoor124shankar-mahadevan124javed-akhtar.webp "SonyMusicIndiaVEVO")
⏲ 3 minutes 41 seconds 👁 4.5M
_what-your-favorite-morning-drink-reveals-about-you.webp "Your entire lifestyle can likely be summed up by what you drink in the morning, according to a new study.<br/><br/>In a poll of 2,000 US adults, split between 1,000 coffee drinkers and 1,000 matcha drinkers, a number of personality and lifestyle differences — and a few surprising similarities — were observed based on their preferred a.m. beverage. <br/><br/>If you are a matcha drinker, you are more likely to wake up early (54%), prefer outdoor activities (26%), be an ambivert, or a balance of introvert and extrovert (46%), and describe yourself as “adventurous” (29%). <br/><br/>Commissioned by Califia Farms and conducted by OnePoll, the study found, by comparison, more than half of coffee drinkers prefer to sleep in later (53%), prefer indoor activities like watching movies (38%), and are more likely to be an introvert (42%).")
_new-songs-alan-walker-2019-top-20-alan-walker-songs-2019.webp "Listen To Music")
_s-h-a-k-i-r-a-greatest-hits-playlist-2021-s-h-a-k-i-r-a-full-album-2021-best-of-s-h-a-k-i-r-a.webp "Best Songs Collection")
⏲ 1 hour 29 minutes 1 second 👁 1.9M
_alan-wake-2-still-hasnt-earned-development-budget-back.webp "It seems that Alan Wake 2 hasn’t performed amazingly financially, despite being a huge success critically amongst fans and reviewers.")
_o-janewale.webp "Lata Mangeshkar - Topic")
_soldier-mp3-songs-all-romantic-songs-124-bobby-deol-and-pretty-zinta.webp "Love songs forever")
_give-us-an-update-on-the-status-sec-buttigieg-grilled-on-baltimore-bridge-collapse-relief.webp "On Tuesday, Sec. of Transportation Pete Buttigieg answered questions from House members on relief in the wake of the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse.<br/><br/>Fuel your success with Forbes. Gain unlimited access to premium journalism, including breaking news, groundbreaking in-depth reported stories, daily digests and more. Plus, members get a front-row seat at members-only events with leading thinkers and doers, access to premium video that can help you get ahead, an ad-light experience, early access to select products including NFT drops and more:<br/><br/>https://account.forbes.com/membership/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=growth_non-sub_paid_subscribe_ytdescript<br/><br/><br/>Stay Connected<br/>Forbes on Facebook: http://fb.com/forbes<br/>Forbes Video on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/forbes<br/>Forbes Video on Instagram: http://instagram.com/forbes<br/>More From Forbes:http://forbes.com")
⏲ 5:40 👁 325K
_energetic-mood-vol-2-124-delightful-tamil-songs-collections-124-vijay-songs-124-tamil-mp3-124tamil-beats-124.webp "My Music Playlist")
Energetic Mood Vol . 2 | Delightful Tamil Songs Collections | VIJAY SONGS | Tamil Mp3 |Tamil Beats |
⏲ 1 hour 19 minutes 22 seconds 👁 3.1M
_happy-mood-vol-7-124-feel-good-songs-124-vijay-hits-124-tamil-mp3-124.webp "My Music Playlist")
⏲ 2 hours 45 minutes 4 seconds 👁 715.3K
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